He realized his dream of being a specialty surgeon and having a family but leaves the dirty work to me. Expect her to either write you off during her mission or pressure you to show interest in the church. It's also possible that deep down she's like many of us here, and her shelf will break and she'll want out. There will be sacrifices but I am hopeful. This is not about either of you individually. Best wishes in whatever you decide. You should ask yourself if you want to pursue a future partner who was raised in an environment that causes drastic sexual suppression and you may never have a healthy sex life if she is your wife.
It sucks but ultimately what Mormonism does to people is it makes them value adherence to church more than their relationships with people. Sometimes I feel burned out, but I have to carry on. My husband and I have been together since we were year-olds at university trying to figure out where we stood with the faiths we had grown up in.
You can and should share with her why you don't and never will believe in the Mormon church, and let her decide for herself, but be prepared to have that blow up in your face. We need to believe fully and then we make choices, not the other way around. The best advice I can give is stay true to yourself. You will always be second place. I am a soon-to-be Surgeon's wife and my boyfriend and I have started discussing the changes that are going to happen when he enters his residency. I do feel frustrated sometimes when spends his limited free time to go out with the guys, but I realize that he needs this release every once in a while. Otherwise you risk having an awkward mix between dating and hanging out, which can be uncomfortable for those involved. It is difficult to learn to have no expectations towards him, even though our mindset towards medicine is the same. As someone born and raised in the church this has been very difficult to moderate and there is some social pressure to become more involved. So you made a wise decision.
That's a really sad story. Please realize I know how the church works, was extremely active and raised good kids. Follow the footnotes and you start to find the lies. This means no swearing, loud talking, or making offensive jokes. I'd at least insist that at 12 the kids can choose to disaffiliate. How some find time for Affairs is beyond me!!. Divorce would have wiped him out and he would not have been able to ever stop working. Through this, if you run into unforeseen issues like sold out movies or you cannot get a seat at a restaurant, you will always have a backup plan. Sorry that you went through that. Marriage is simply not an option to me there.
