That was literally over years ago. That is a goal worth fighting for. Patriarchal leadership is something that most women in the world valued until recently, but it is still a chief value with Mormons. If you do end up having sexual relations, she will feel guilty, and it will affect your relationship, you can count on that. Do you want to be married in the temple. What you are potentially choosing is certainly not the easiest path.
Don't forget too that IF you are successful in turning the lights on and deconverting her, the family would resent you the rest of their lives. I did in college, and knew I would play 2nd fiddle to the lifelong dream. My wife chose me, but most people aren't so lucky. It's a less common occurrence, but it happens. Trust yourself, trust God and enjoy the beautiful relationship that you have. If she is full on Mormon, this relationship will go one of two ways: You will convert and change your entire lifestyle and personality to conform with her expectations never to deconvert or you will face severe penalitesor you will break up because you won't convert and change everything about yourself. We have 5 kids and my eldest wants to become a doctor. And it can be done any time during the day, so scheduling is easy.
It'll reinforce the wisdom of running from this disaster in the making. But those days may be gone. Most of us were suckled on that teat too. Eventually it turned into a sour argument. How would that motivate you to work out every day to get a girl. I would show her this recent post for example: Her family will also be thinking about this and will talk to you about it when you spend time with them. I am hopeful and do feel some healing. If my mother needed her surgeon's attention, I wouldn't want him to be thinking about his wife's lamenting that he's never home, not romantic, etc. Well the pieces will all fall into place.
I think you need to figure out if you are willing to stay in a relationship with a man who's so busy, because trust me, it's not going to change anytime soon. I kept thinking things would get better at some point, but they didn't. Let's talk about kids. Be open and talk about your ideals. You will join the church. She suggested instead watching something that was produced by the church itself. I definitely don't want to lead her on.