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You need to repent and change. Yeah, I think we need to have that talk I've been putting off. Spending a lifetime single is not something most people would choose to do, but fear of being forever single should never be a deciding factor in entering a marriage, lest serious problems go unaddressed before serious commitments are made. Drinkers tend to rely on drink before they can have fun. For men, this will likely come after completing your mission trip, so in your early 20s at the earliest. Best wishes in whatever you decide. You know what the official line of the church is, and what bishops and stake presidents are likely to say. Im not sure whether he isn't ready for it to get any more serious than it is or that he cannot juggle my needs and his duties. The way he wanted to live his life, the family he wanted to have, the wife he dreamt of- matched the type of person I longed for. But on the main page of exmormon Reddit on the side bar there is a link to a site with links to all the pages on LDS.
He is a great man and I know he will always put his family first but this is such a hard decision. We both love eachother and I support him as he supports me while im in school as well. I feel like I am under the microscope. Best of luck, and God bless. I married a non-member over 20 years ago.