She is instructed to have children within wedlock very soon, raise these children in a Mormon home, and devote hours each week to church activities plus Sabbath observance on Sunday. The pressure is mounting for Mormon women to cave in to Western degeneracy, and men are at a loss for what to do about it. Maybe that is why I am grouchy and can't cheer when my husband becomes a director for yet another board at the hospital. And we are not bloody married yet. When we obsess over it we start acting like a customer in a clothing store wondering what he or she will look like if they wear that particular wardrobe. You would think surrounded by kids and being off every day would not be lonely but never having anyone to share your kids achievements with in person is hard.
This I knew before we married and accepted. I find there are less disappointments when I know I am completely on my own. He was also born in Russia during the 80s and did not come to the United States until so we sometimes deal with cultural differences as well as religious. A good man is not defined by his religion and a great marriage is not defined by where it takes place. There's a picture of the magic rock he found while digging a neighbor's well.
I keep getting job offers from China and Japan while I truly struggle to find work here in the states. Maybe it won't be a big deal. Distance is hard, being away from family is tough, but in a way having only "each other" made our marriage so strong. Having said that, I believe strongly that it takes a special individual who can remain active in the church and have a non-traditional marriage. It MAY be true that she will not marry him unless he converts. At least people of different races are aware of those differences, and are on alert to deal with them. Not the end of the world.
And I resent being viewed as just the wife of a doctor rather than my own person with her own accomplishments and aspirations. That is a goal worth fighting for. At the end of the second date I knew I needed him in my life. No I dont think so. He was lonely, as was she.